Fried Niki (With a Side of Baby)

In the famed and favored pregnancy book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” there is no chapter, paragraph or smallest mention of what to expect when you are electrocuted. Just so you know.

Via the index I found “Electric Blanket”, “Electrolysis”, “Electropuncture”……no "Electrocution".

I’m fine though. I was in a monsoon storm. Lighting struck near me just as I touched the metal automatic door of a van. I saw blue and white flash in my right peripheral vision. My right arm was zapped. It ached slightly for about an hour.

But I’m fine.

My baby will now become a super hero.

I Can Grow People

A Wal Mart employee asked me what this shirt meant. Apparently it means I’m at that stage where people aren’t sure if I’m pregnant or just extra chunky with nuts. However, I thought the shirt would sorta clear that up for everyone.

But what else should I expect from Wal Mart…………I’ll tell you what, I expected to find bright yellow curtains for the baby’s room but it seems that color is not very trendy at the moment. Seven thousand other shades of hideous, but no bright yellow.

Oh, and let’s scratch anything I ever said about having a boundless supply of energy.
Let’s instead pretend that everything I say will mean the exact opposite happens tomorrow. Just for fun.

Antsy Pants

That man I share a bed with tells me I laugh a lot in my sleep now. I believe he said it sounds like I’m laughing AT something rather than WITH something.

I’ve sent the Doo Doo Monkey off to her first day of first grade and now…..I don’t know what to do with myself. I miss working. I wasn’t cut out to be a homebody. And I would make a terrible soccer mom.

I have all this energy now (so long as I stay out of the 100 degree heat) and no outlet with which to expend it. Oh….except to blog, obviously. Because that’s always a good way to spend my time.

I feel antsy in the pantsy.

Someone actually suggested I start knitting.

Oh brother.