Rosemary's Baby

Did I say the next two months?
10 more weeks to be exact.
Wowza.

Last night, while lying in bed, the baby moved in such a way that you could see her turning in my abdomen. If you’ve ever seen the ground rolling wave-like during an earthquake it looks similar to that. I tapped B.D. on the shoulder, got his attention and pointed toward the action. Upon watching the skin of my tummy slowly undulate up and down his eyes, already big and brown, grew wider and wider as he slowly slid backward and hid behind a pillow…..one crazy cartoon eye peeking over it.

I laughed so hard I almost fell out of bed.
I suspect my darling hubby is starting to panic…..quietly of course.

He plays it cool for the most part but whenever we see a tiny baby at the market, at a restaurant, in a friend’s arms I can see the fear in him. “They’re so LITTLE” He says, “So helpless…..for so long”. He’s never been around babies really. My daughter was three years old when he came into her life. She was potty-trained, well mannered, disciplined and durable. And though he is most definitely an experienced dad by now (and deserves a hundred million accolades for being such a fantastic one) he has no skills with the wee babies….. this totally freaks him out.

Me? How am I absorbing it? I’m a little rusty with babies, myself. It’s been almost 7 years. But I know how it just comes to you. I remember I didn’t want to leave the hospital. I wanted a nursing staff on-call, at my finger tips, just in case I f*cked up somehow. I remember being so scared to diaper her, so scared of her first bath, so utterly “I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I’M DOING HERE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!” But it passed. I know that the act of caring for this baby won’t be so scary this time.

What frightens me are any and all gruesome possibilities. I worry about everything else. All the many ways it can go horribly wrong. All the awful stories you hear, they haunt me day and night. I’m even too suspicious to elaborate……I just pray.

And my six year old Doo Doo Monkey? How is she dealing?
She’s just excited.
Purely and simply.

She is the only worry-free, panic-free, hang-up free entity in this house.

I mean, we’re ALL excited in our way. It’s only that B.D. and I have the “enormous responsibility” part of the equation. Doo Doo Monkey just gets to hang out and watch sister grow. I haven’t had to address any signs of jealousy from her yet and if or when I do I have a feeling it will be minimal. She’s so mature for her age, so kind-hearted, so considerate of others, such a sweetie ……….not like an only child at ALL. Trust me, I know.

And precisely because my Doo Doo is so good, and always has been, is why I joke with every one that my next child will surely be Rosemary’s Baby. That I’m working with an unknown set of genetics here and anything can happen. There’s just no way I’ll luck out twice, right? And that’s okay. As long as Baby Lily is healthy and relatively happy I’ll care not if she’s a little turd.